My Testimony

At the time of writing this I had not received the Dr.’s report but I had already received God’s report. Due to my disobedience in the posting of this I have now received the Dr.’s report but I will still start from the beginning.

In 35 years I have never been in the place I stand today in regards to my health. I have always returned from my annual exams with a clean bill of health, until recently.

I went in as I do every year for my annual check up and left as I do every year, thinking all was A OK. The only shock to me this year was the findings that I am actually only 5’1 in height. LOL! However, a week later, when I normally would receive that call from my Dr.’s assistant saying all my tests came back fine, I received a call from my Dr. saying that ALL my tests came back fine EXCEPT one and that she would like to refer me to another Dr. to get re-examined. When I asked exactly what these results could mean she really couldn’t answer me. She stated the test came back abnormal and could be numerous things OR nothing at all but what she could tell me is that I did NOT have the Big C.

Now let me interject here, my reason for asking so many questions and trying to gain understanding to what this abnormal exam meant was simple…I needed to know how to pray and what to declare over my situation.

I called the new Dr. and made a follow up appointment. When I went in for my appointment the new Dr. pulled me in her office and showed me the report from my Dr. stating that the test came back abnormal. Because I have never had an abnormal anything she stated that she would like to re-examine me just to ensure that this wasn’t something that could lead to anything down the line. She explained in detail what she was going to do and what she was looking for, abnormal cells. She also told me that I did NOT have the Big C but wanted to do a biopsy if there were abnormal cells to see what would be the next step in ensuring I didn’t get the Big C down the line.

Let me interject again. Mind you, this was my first meeting with this Dr. After I let her speak she asked if I had any questions. I told her that I didn’t have any questions but I had something to tell her. I told her this, “I’m not sure what your beliefs are, and I would never mean to disrespect your personal beliefs or disrespect your craft, but if I am going to be your patient moving forward then you need to know that I am a woman of faith, I am a praying woman, I have fasted and prayed concerning this appointment, even though it may come out to be nothing, and the only declaration coming out of my mouth is that I am healed, and that should there be any additional steps the Great Physician will give you wisdom on what to do because I haven’t even scraped the surface of what God has called me to do in this life!” Needless to say…she agreed! And for the record, if she wouldn’t have agreed I would have went elsewhere.

As I mentioned to the Dr. I mention to you. As soon as the first call came in from my Dr. I began to get God’s Word on my situation. Sure, it can possibly be nothing but just incase I needed to begin to believe at that moment. I got His Word on my situation, once I got His Word on my situation He instructed me to fast, He also instructed me to ask a few of those in my close circle to fast with me, and they did, well, at least they told me they did.

My visit with my new Dr. was on a Tuesday, on that Thursday I was in worship, I was reminding the Lord of what His Word said regarding MY healing, I reminded Him that at the time of my Salvation is the time that I received this healing, should I need one, so this was already done! It was at 7:02 PM that evening I knew this was done. My healing was already given to me at the time of my salvation so all I had to do at this point was thank Him for the MANIFESTATION of that healing. At first it felt weird, because my mind, my flesh wanted to tell me that I had to do all these things to receive my healing, to make sure God would hear me and to ensure that this healing, if one was needed, would take place. But as I mentioned that isn’t the case my healing was already received when I received Christ, so all I have to do now is thank Him for that manifestation. And that is what I am doing, thanking Him for the manifestation of my healing should I need one, and every time my mind wants to tell me otherwise, wants to tell me I am going to die, wants to tell me I deserve this or did something to cause this, every time my mind wants to fill my spirit with fear and anxiety I shut it down with the Word of God, I shut it down by NOT speaking what it (my mind) is telling me but by speaking to it what the Word is telling me and reminding it that this has nothing to do with me or my choices, it just is, it may be a fact but it ISN’T the truth cause the truth is that this is already done.

Sure, I could have waited to get the results and then put my faith into motion but I preferred to put my faith into motion from the very first call. Whether I need to or not. And regardless of the outcome, that Dr. in that office got ministered to concerning the Great Physician who is STILL healing today.

As I close this writing I have now received the follow up call from my Dr. stating that the biopsy lines up with the results from the original exam and that while the abnormal cells are NOT cancerous she prefers to remove them before they have a chance to turn into anything. So, we set up the procedure for this Wednesday. Now when dealing with a situation as such it is important to use wisdom as well as to obey what the Lord instructs you to do through the process. Don’t be so spiritual that you are no Earthly good so to speak. When I say wisdom I mean keep your appointments and follow through. Get the information. When I say obey what the Lord instructs you to do I mean just that. The Lord has instructed me to again fast the entire day before the procedure and at the end of that day to take communion with Him over my healing. And I will obey. And since the procedure is a minor one and I will be up during the procedure I will be reading my book, “I Believe in Miracles” by Kathryn Kuhlman while having the procedure done. :)

My faith is here, either I will go back and the Dr. won’t be able to find any abnormal cells to remove or I will go back and have the procedure and start fresh, new cells for my new beginnings.

Going through something like this has gotten me to think. Though I know this is not going to amount to anything and though I know this is not going to be unto death it will get you to ponder and think of all that. I don’t fear death. I feel like Esther, if I perish, I perish. Now again, I KNOW that will NOT be the outcome but I’m at a place where I don’t have fear anymore. Fear has no control over me. People’s wrong opinions of me don’t mean anything to me. I look back over the past (5) years, I look at how things that I know were God came to a halt without explanation, I look at where I have been and where God has taken me and most women would have lost their damn mind! Yes, I said damn! Most women would have already been placed in a mental institution. It is ONLY God who has kept me, and it is ONLY God who will keep me. I truly believe the emotional, mental and spiritual crosses that we bear are far more challenging than the physical because most times what you’re going through emotional, mental or spiritual isn’t tangible. Watch the movie Luther and you will know what I mean. To know the call of God, know the change God has put in you but not know how it is going to come to being, seeing contradiction all around you to what He has spoken, knowing who you are to be but not having the liberty to be it, the questioning during the waiting and holding seasons, and so on and so forth. This for me is really a walk in the clouds. Don’t get me wrong, you will have initial thoughts, but if you are a child of God who KNOWS his/her covenant and what that entails, who KNOWS the promises of God, etc, your Spirit will kick in quick, fast and in a hurry! J

Now…we move forward…and we wait for God’s report to be given. In the meantime, as I said, it gets you thinking. I can no longer waste time making people my priority while being only their option. I’m ready for my new beginnings and all that entails. I am ready to live and breathe destiny and I have no fear! I don’t care what people are going to think or say. I am ready to walk, no, run this thing out. I am ready for the Lord to bring me to my companion and my companion to me. I’m ready to be that comparable help (still not sold on the whole marriage thing but this is a start) and all that entails for him. I’m ready to take the risk to love and to allow the love of God in me to flow. I’m ready to be bold and confident in the things God has for me. I’m ready to receive my inheritance. I’m ready! I’m ready! I’m ready! No more wasting time with people who can’t or don’t want to step up to where I am at. Let them settle for second best. I have too much to do and too much to change! No more wasted oil, my wineskin is new!

With my birthday marking a new year ahead, and with this situation that has arisen, as I will sit with God and take communion it will mark this memorial! For this girl is now FEARLESS and FREE and anyone who is going to roll with me in destiny is going to have to be just as FEARLESS and just as FREE!

I KNOW I’m not perfect, and nor do I claim to be. I’m the first to admit I’m NOT! But one thing I can say about me is that I ALLOW God to work on me. I ALLOW Him to strip me and operate on me, as painful as it is at times, cause I realize not only will it emerge me into being more like Him but it is needed for someone else and that is what my life is about…others!