The CrossRoad of Faith

So many of us say, and probably think we are believing and trusting God when it comes to the vision for or certain situations in our lives but are we truly believing and trusting Him?

I thought I was because I was standing on the Word the Lord gave to me for the vision of my life. I believed that I received and continued to remind Him of what He promised. I was sowing my seed in two worlds. I was using the Word as a net to filter out doubt, negativity, and any thought that would come to mind that contradicted what I knew.

This week I have been in a posture of consecration. During worship the Lord said to me, “You need to crossover". As I started asking questions back it was revealed that I wasn’t fully believing and trusting Him as it pertains to the vision for my life. I was just going through the faith motions. Though my Spirit had fully grasped it there were some parts of Rebekah that were teetering. I had one foot in faith and one foot out. You know, just-in-case, in case I was wrong, wasn’t hearing correctly, missed it, or for some reason it didn’t come to pass. And I get why I was teetering. Teetering meant I couldn’t get hurt or disappointed because I could run the other way if I had to. If I wasn’t fully in belief or trust I couldn’t get fully hurt or disappointed. My teetering was protecting me. There was still a bit of fear operating and battling with my faith. There was still a bit of denial, and rightfully so. For some of us, the vision given is not a desirous one. Yes, we are passionate about it, and it is who we are, but, because we feel the weight of it, because we know the responsibility that comes with it, the discipline, the ridicule, the attack, the crucifixion, we attempt to do whatever else we can, except what we are supposed to do. Cute, I know. Because, while there is a "cost" attached to some visions, this "cost" will be far greater if the vision is ignored.

Here I was at a crossroad. And I am sure there are many others at the crossroad of their faith. Whether it be exercising faith in their business, career, finances, ministry, relationships, health, deliverance, etc. That crossroad where we decide to either let go completely or continue to hold on to some sort of safety, comfort, or familiarity. I knew, at that moment, that if I crossed over in my faith there was no turning back. My life, myself, was fully with Him. My hands would be completely off of it and I would no longer have my hands on it. Whatever was to happen would happen. I would no longer be teetering on the seesaw of faith able to control and protect myself from hurt or disappointment, from the weight or the responsibility,or from all that is connected to who I am to be and where I am headed. This was it.

So, in the words of Elphaba from Wicked, with a twist, I said to Him, “It’s too late for second-guessing. Too late to go back to sleep (after all, I had already told Him 'Yes'). It's time to trust my Spirit. Close my eyes and leap!” And that is exactly what I did. I leaped and crossed over in my faith, completely and wholeheartedly. As it is a NEW place for me I surprisingly feel more charged than I do scared. And now, here I am, completely surrendered, and completely ready!