As I was reflecting on 2011 and what I would write regarding it, it seemed there were no words to truly describe it. 2011 was such an array of things.
How do I describe the depths of the hurt I felt, the offense I encountered, the love and support I received? How do I describe the moments shared or the loss of those so dear to me? How do I describe the chaos, disarray and confusion, the pains of growth and the process of moving from who I was to who I am to be? How do I describe the fear of letting go and really choosing to trust not in man, but in God? How do I describe the grieving I felt in my Spirit as it pertains to this system called ‘church’? How do I describe the battlefield in my mind? How do I describe believing in Words given that seem impossible to manifest? How do I describe the revelation received, that sometimes, even I didn’t fully understand? How do I describe being so close to the land but not yet able to occupy? How do I describe giving of myself over and over again only to come up short?
As I asked these questions, the only response that came out, the only way I can describe this year is…
I’M STILL STANDING!
What the enemy and some people did. Heck, maybe even some of my choices, which were intended to take me out, put me in a facility, get me out of position, cause me to quit and go against the One who has been forever faithful, didn’t work. It didn’t produce what was wanted or desired. Yes, I may have felt everything described but I didn’t become it and it didn’t take me out because…
I’M STILL STANDING!
Things on the surface, in some areas, may appear the same but they are not because I am not. 2011 was proclaimed the year the Lord would make the, a, and up the difference. Well, He did all of that…IN and WITH me. He stripped me of me and everything I thought I knew and rebuilt me. As HMTQ stated…HE’S KEPT ME! I’m stronger, confident, and wiser. I'm setting the foundation and the order for 2012 and whatever and whoever doesn't fit. Adios. It is possible to love from a distance. I'm choosing not to react to others, obstacles or challenges but to respond in and with love, compassion, patience and without judgment. I’ve settled what needed to be settled as it pertains to me and the calling on my life and I'm ready to explore this NEW year and all it has to offer. And I'm excited about what I see on the horizon.
If you are reading this, whether you believe in the One who created you or not, the fact that you are reading this means YOUR STILL STANDING and HE KEPT YOU! Be thankful for that. YOU MADE IT! You may be bruised but your not broken. So, pat yourself on the back, congratulate yourself and get prepared for what IS going to be YOUR YEAR, your year to reap what you’ve sown in tears, to reap your harvest, to occupy. This year will be about YOU so remember to not forget YOU!
I believe in 2012, we are no longer going to see the God that people have portrayed but we are going to see God’s portrayal of Himself. People will not only see the God of those in the Bible BUT the God of Rebekah and the God of YOU! Believe you receive and let’s do this. Let’s end 2012 with a different type of memorial of who He is.
XOXO
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