He Who Is Without Sin.....

I believe most believers are in denial and most non-believers are quite delusional when it comes to those of us who have a relationship with the Lord, not a religion, but a relationship.

To think because we say we believe in The Trinity, the Bible and all that it contains that we are exempt from making mistakes/bad choices/missing the mark is delusional to the non-believer and denial to the believer.

It seems that as soon as one declares the above they are put on this pedestal by both believers and non-believers yet as soon as they makes a mistake/bad choice/miss the mark they get kicked off of it. Just because believers believe what they believe it doesn’t mean they are perfect, have got it together or get it right all the time. They deal with everything the non-believer deals with, however, depending on their place of position, with a platform as well as the responsibility knowing that their mistakes/bad choices/missing the mark doesn’t just affect them but everyone connected to and around them. For some this is thousands of people. This already is not an easy thing to carry, and both believers and non-believers make it that much harder by posting these individuals faults on every social network and media outlet. Religion punishes them by forcing them to remain in and be surrounded by their mistakes/bad choices/missing the mark while Kingdom forgives them. We must understand that we, believers, will never be perfect. It’s a fact, we are human and we are going to sin/err so we may as well come out of denial / delusion and except this. It happens. It exists. The first word in Man/Woman of God is Man/Woman. And if someone claims to be a believer their relationship with God is just that, their relationship with God. We have no idea the cost some pay to truly walk in what God called them to do. The only thing that should matter to the believer or non-believer is, ‘are they doing what God called them to do?’ If they are, then allow the Holy Spirit to deal with them and the rest. After all, one never knows when they too may be in the hot seat and we reap THAT which we sow. Despite our mistakes/bad choices/missing the mark there is always a way out, even if we find ourselves in that same mistake/bad choice/missing the mark more than once.

The perfect example of this is the story of Kathryn Kuhlman, one of the greatest healing evangelists of all time. At the hype of her ministry she lost everything. She met a man and despite pleadings and warnings from those who cared for her, despite the promptings of the Holy Spirit within her telling her that it was a mistake, despite having no peace and not being able to find the will of God she married him. Her story further goes on to share how she lost her church, close friends, ministry and how even her relationship with God suffered due to putting her desires before His. Even though she immediately knew it was a tragic mistake she felt there was no turning back and so she stayed for years in what she called the deepest and darkest valley of her life. Of course because of the grace of God people were saved and blessed under her ministry during this time but the life went out of both she and her husband. No matter how she tried to rationalize her decision, the truth gripped her heart like a vise. Because of her own stubborn will, she had drifted from God's call and was dying (spiritually). The call on her was so deep, so irreversible, that after so many years she could stand the misery no more, she was fooling herself. She was preaching and seeking God's blessing without living God's precepts. She had sinned. She was tired of trying to justify herself. She finally confessed her transgressions and received the assurance of God's forgiveness. She gave up everything, including her marriage and died (spiritually). She became a seed willing to fall into the ground and be buried. It is here that she came out of the wilderness and moved into the promise land with her ministry superseding where it was when it was at its hype. Those who knew Kathryn will even testify that she didn’t truly move in the Anointing she was moving in when she passed on (physically) until she came out of that deep and dark valley of her life.

We all have CROSSES to bear in our lives. But our crosses are just that, our crosses. It is that place where the Holy Spirit deals with you (individual) and puts His finger on those places or that place in your (individual) life that needs changing / fixing, that place where more of self (individual) needs to die, that place where you (individual) might have been operating in disobedience (like Kathryn). I used to believe that Kathryn went through what she went through because she joined herself to the wrong person because I had never heard of a marriage being referred to as sin. But as I study her ministry/life more I realize it was mainly her disobedience. Disobedience can cause you to deal with things you should have never had to deal with, it can cause you to be blindsided and deceived. Her life reminds me that there is life after death (spiritual). So grateful religion didn’t force her to stay in the state she was in because I truly have learned from her life and her ministry even though I have never met her or sat under her ministry. Had she remained in that who knows how many lives would have missed out.

Without condoning some of these mistakes/bad choices/missing the mark we need to leave room for individuals to have them. If we did, I believe we would see more things become right and more individuals truly delivered, healed and set free. I often wonder how many people are choosing to live in the wilderness, like Kathryn did for some time. I wonder how many have remained in their mistake/bad choices/missing the mark, like Kathryn, trying to justify who they are, rationalizing what they did, living a double life out of fear of being stoned. We need to practice the greatest commandment, which is love, so that these individuals who are in the wilderness can have the boldness and the courage to break out of their mistakes/bad choices/missing the mark (wilderness) and enter into their Promise Land.

Truth is, and believers know this, once God forgives it is as if it never happened, only people or the individual can keep it alive. Kathryn chose not to, ”At one point the Lord asked her, ‘Kathryn, have I forgiven you.’ She answered, ‘Yes.’ God said, ‘I have forgotten it, and in My book it never happened.’ From this moment on, until late in her life, Kathryn never spoke of the matter, treating it as God said He had.” Let’s do the same.

The past 30 days!

The past month or so, for me, has been filled with so many emotions and questions. Just when it seemed I had found my place, the vision clearer than ever, the expectancy dial turned up as far as it could go and that which seemed to have died in me resurrected everything “appeared” to either come to a halt or change direction. I say appear because usually how things appear are not how they truly are. If they were, the Bible would not have to inform / instruct us that we are to walk by our Faith (our conviction / persuasion + corresponding action) and not by our Sight (what we see).

I was completely blindsided, even though I should have seen how I was being prepared for this. The Word will always come before the season, the confusion, the trial, the challenge, etc. The Word is given before so it can keep one through the season, the confusion, the trial, the challenge, etc. But of course, as always, my emotions became more dominant than the Word. And I take blame because I was speaking more to my emotions than I was to my Spirit. Whatever one feeds on is what will have dominion within them. My mind had a field day with me, all the “what ifs” came out, all the questions regarding choices and decisions, the creation of things that weren’t really there or happening. I felt like I was back in 2006 again, literally because life seemed to be repeating itself after it had seemed that life had gotten so far from that time. This allowed for me to be very analytical and start analyzing every relationship, choice, decision, words spoken, prayers prayed and seeds sown over the past 4 years. Hope was making it’s departure, as it seemed that individuals who don’t have the relationship I know I have, or the faith that I have, those with wrong motives were succeeding. I became vulnerable which had me yearning for something familiar, something safe, even if it meant settling or opening doors that I knew were closed for a reason, doors that I knew would only bring more pain. However, when one is vulnerable they could be compared to an alcoholic or any other type of addiction because they will seek for that which will satisfy the pain not realizing that it will only satisfy the pain for the moment, it will never deliver one from the pain. Sometimes emotional pain, I believe, can be more intense than some physical pain. This is why it so crucial, as I was reminded before I did anything stupid, to guard one’s self when in a vulnerable state AND why it so crucial to never choose a mate when in a vulnerable state because when you come out of that state (and YES, you will come out) you will be wondering what you did because what might have been good in that person for the moment, may not be what is needed for your life time.

I finally shut down my thoughts and my emotions long enough to just be, and it is here that I realized that we all have the power to CHOOSE and the power to CHANGE! I once saw this posted, “If the people around you won’t change, change the people around you.” I’m over making excuses for people and why they are they way they are. I too could have chosen to do things during this time of vulnerability that would have led to repetitive cycles, patterns or mistakes but I chose different. However, had I succumbed to vulnerability and possibly made a choice that thrust me back into a repetitive cycle, pattern or past mistake there is always the choice to get out. God does not force us to stay in our mistakes, we do either because of guilt, fear or pride and yes, while He may (allow) us to go through repetitive cycles, I believe that is in hope that we will get sick and tired of being sick and tired and change. God can’t force us to do anything otherwise He would be going against free will. I also realized that I had become comfortable in some situations not realizing becoming comfortable can handicap not only one’s self but others. I realized that I was wavering in certain areas because I hadn’t (settled) that those areas were Him. I also realized I wasn’t being consistent in what I know to do to keep me prepared for the journey or the battle because I was tired and sometimes that happens, we get tired. But that is when we need to remind ourselves to not grow weary in well doing, and to remain balanced. For those of us who are constantly being pulled on by others and constantly giving of ourselves to others it is especially important to refill and to have times when we can just be.

Today, this revelation has now replaced all of what I was “feeling” with peace. The truth is, despite how things appear of feel I, and others, are closer than we have ever been to stepping into that place ordained before the foundations of the Earth. It is just that time, which is why there is so much distraction, which is why the warfare has intensified. However, do not allow the distractions or warfare to cause you to retreat or step out of place and possibly forfeit destiny. Press through, Trust God and not Man, and Believe in the face of Adversity. Don't allow anyone to keep you from truly experiencing His BEST! And I mean truly experiencing it. If there is one thing that Christians have mastered it is Faking. This walk isn't about being perfect it is about being available. Embrace where you have been, where you are at (the good and bad, the right and wrong) but most importantly where you are headed.

Who is the Virtuous Woman of Proverbs?

In Proverbs 31, unlike the remainder of women in the Bible, the woman described does not have a specific name, which to me states that any woman can be her and should strive to be her because she is amazing.

She operates in nothing below excellence and is a woman of value, she has worth. (vs.10) I believe her worth is compared to exceed that of a precious stone because she is a rare find, and the more rare and scarce something is the more precious it becomes. Her mate feels secure with her. He feels safe putting his confidence in her, he feels he can depend on her and she won’t let him down, he entrusts her with his vision, his strengths, his weaknesses, his insecurities. He is not afraid to be vulnerable in front of her. (vs. 11) She respects her mate and has a desire to please and assist him. She doesn’t do things intentionally to hurt/upset him or those around him. She undergirds her mate in prayer and sets the atmosphere in their home so that when he is done fighting the day to day he can come home and be at peace. She loves him unconditionally and she is not contentious. (vs. 12) She knows how to obtain the necessities needed to run her household and is not lazy. She is not afraid to work. She willingly moves in her role and position with grace.(vs. 13) She has knowledge/wisdom on how to handle the finances and how to invest. She has the understanding of sowing and reaping and continues that cycle so that a continuous profit is being brought into her household. She also uses her gifts and talents to produce income for the family, if need be. (vs. 14, 16, 24) Spiritually this woman is one who spends time in prayer, fasting, worship and the study of the Word. She lives a life of consecration. She ensures that not just the natural man is filled within her household but that the spirit is fed as well. And not only does she provide this for her household but for those connected to her household. (vs. 15) She fastens herself not with her own strength but the strength of the Lord, His Word and His Principles and she strengthens herself in all areas, Physically, Spiritually, Financially, Mentally and Emotionally. (vs. 17, 25) She is a woman who knows who she is and knows who she is in the Anointing. She has confidence and therefore, no one can put out the fire that is within her, she shines wherever she is at, even in seasons of darkness. (vs.18) She is a woman of ownership and influence. She is warm and inviting. She extends herself to others and an example to other women. She is the center that holds everything around her together. (vs. 19) She is not selfish, she gives of herself and sows into the lives of others, especially those less fortunate than she in money and what money can’t buy. She knows she has been blessed to be a blessing. She also sows/volunteers within her community. She is charitable. (vs. 20) She is fearless. She does not fear when trials or tribulations hit her home because she knows her household is covered in the Blood. (vs.21) She is royalty. (vs. 22) She is a comparable helpmeet to her mate that doesn’t minister to his function but ministers to him so he can function. Her mate is known in what he does. He excels in his function. (vs.23) She understands the power of the tongue and uses her words to edify and encourage, not to tear down. She is slow to speak and quick to listen. She speaks from a place of wisdom and not from her emotions. She speaks intelligently. (vs. 26) She keeps a watchful eye over her household. She ensures that they keep their faith first and in the forefront. She ensures that her household does not grow weary in well doing, get comfortable or settle but that they always reach for their full potential and move in what they are called to do. She keeps out strife and keeps everyone in agreement. (vs. 27) Those who know her, including her mate, recognize and appreciate who she is and they tell her so and this encourages her for when times can be challenging. Her mate knows she was designed especially for him because she came out of him. And though there are many women out there, to her mate, she surpasses them all. (vs. 28, 29) She is not deceitful. She does not pretend to be something she is not. She is beautiful, but her true beauty lies within. She has a true relationship, not a religion with God. (vs. 30) Lastly, this woman produces. There is fruit seen in what she puts her hands to, evidence. And the fruit will speak for her. She will not have to defend herself or prove herself. (vs. 31)

I always question why the Scripture starts with “Who can find a virtuous woman?” I think it is because she is so hidden in God that the man has to seek God to find her. Unfortunately, today’s women have made it so easy for men that one can understand why they would prefer to not seek for the virtuous woman. The wait in being found can be discouraging to the one striving to reach the balance of the virtuous woman and many times cause her to lower her standards, settle and/or retreat. And the number of those retreating, I believe, in the past years has increased and opened the door to her death. She is so far and few between.

Well, TODAY, it is time to stop settling, raise the standard and open the door to her resurrection. If we don’t, the next generation of young women will have no example except what they see on TV and let’s be real, who wants their daughter, friend or sister to get their life lessons from “Snookie”. 