I'm Pregnant!

Most hear that statement and already assume the worse! OMG! She did it! She's single, she met someone, she did the deed and now she is paying the consequence for her actions. LOL! Not quite. This woman isn't pregnant with a living fetus inside of her that has come from being intimate with one of the opposite sex. This woman is pregnant with a living vision inside of her that has come from a position of intimacy with the One who created her!

I had never been as clear in my hearing during prayer as I was at the beginning of this year. I was excited about what the Lord was speaking to me. I was expecting what the Lord had showed me. I had faith that could move mountains. I was passing tests that I had failed so many times prior. Before I could even goto the Lord with a question He brought the answer. Before I could even go to the Lord with confusion or a concern He brought peace. It was as if I was Adam in the garden walking perfect with God.

Then, ALL OF A SUDDEN, I started getting very emotional. I started getting frustrated easy. Nothing was moving fast enough for me. Individuals and situations that I was graced to tolerate before I was no longer able to tolerate. One minute I knew what God was speaking, had spoken, the next I was the double minded man the Bible talks about in the Book of James. At times I felt the spirit of depression attempt to attach itself to me, it may have possibly done so. All I wanted to do was sleep and watch and read anything that had to do with the Italian mafia. (Yeah, I'm Italian and a sucker for anything that has to do with us and find the structure of organized crime fascinating and for some reason the choice of entertainment for when I am in those seasons of wanting to do nothing.) I didn't want to hear God, talk to God, go to fellowship. I didn't want to receive the Word, hear the Word, quote the Word. What is ironic though is that if I was called upon by someone to minister to them I was able to do so even in the midst of the place I was in. (I guess are Anointings really aren't for us) The place was an uncomfortable and unfamiliar one. Uncomfortable and unfamiliar in that I could not figure out what was going on with me. I felt like Rebekah in the Bible where it says that she conceived but the children struggled together within her and she said, "If all is well, why am I like this?". My closest friends will tell you those words actually came out of my mouth more then once. I kept asking God, "Why am I like this? Why is this bothering me? Why do I have no tolerance for this? Why am I questioning this?"

He led me to Genesis 25: Verse 23 and there it was, "And the Lord said to her (Rebekah), "TWO nations are in your womb, TWO people shall be separated from your body, One people shall be stronger than the other, And the older shall serve the younger".

What I was sensing was what a woman would sense when she is in her third trimester. The trimester right before she gives BIRTH! I do not find it strange now that the Prophetic Word in this 8th month, the month of New Beginnings was to get ready and get in position for the transition. To remove oneself from those things/people that can not go forth into destiny with you for at the end of this 8th month things would be cemented and fixed and thereby that which one is involved with one would be involved with for awhile. Basically if you are involved with things/people that can not go forth into destiny or are involved with people or in things that are keeping you bound and you don't release it/them you would have to wait out another cycle until the next time the Lord declared a Word of release to get out. It is a season to get ALONE with God and wrestle with your destiny. A season to be honest with God about everything and anything. A season to re-examine self to ensure all your T's are crossed and I's are dotted. A season to release anything that would hinder you from moving forward such as fear and pride. I also do not find it strange that all this preparation must be done before the 9th month comes forth which is the month of birthing.

A friend of mine looked up what happens throughout the different trimesters. Below is what we found regarding the third trimester:
"...As you enter into the final trimester of your pregnancy you may notice that you feel more sensitive, emotional and anxious. Be rest assured, these feelings are very natural. It's common to begin worrying about about what kind of mother you are going to be. Many times, the increased size and weight of your baby can cause increased pain (often in your back), making you feel more uncomfortable and anxious."

There it was. Everything I have been experiencing. Being overly sensitive, being emotional and being anxious. Worrying would what God spoke come to pass or wouldn't it. Not realizing because the vision had increased in size and weight due to it getting ready to crown was why I was experiencing so much pain. Not physical but emotional, mental and even spiritual. After all, I have nations in me. I'm not here to birth a religion. A bunch of Do's and Don'ts. I'm here to establish a Kingdom. I'm birthing something that has never been seen or done before. I'm not just a cute face with a nice shape. I am the sounding board, the establishing balance and the confirming witness. I'm the one, like Anna in the Bible who has BOTH the natural and the spiritual and shows up because of the need! I have the Word in my mouth. I'm rare. Of course I would be experiencing all of these side effects and of course the enemy would not want me to complete my term. I was in a place all to UNfamiliar. Which makes sense. I've never actually gave birth to something. I was in a place all to UNcomfortable in that I knew while in this last trimester there were/are things in me that were being put to death, especially with my mindset, because they could not go forth with me into this next season/cycle.

Now hear I STAND ready to re-focus. Ready to continue to nurture the vision that has been within me that is screaming to get out. Ready to see this through to its FULL TERM! Without fear and without question. And by myself if need be. To think that the enemy almost saw his way in attempting to abort that which I have been nurturing for the past so many months...even years. God really doesn't give us more than we can handle. He steps in right at that point where we are ready to go down for the count.

Be encouraged for those of you who also have been carrying and nurturing that seed (vision) in you...those of you who are in a place all to uncomfortable and unfamiliar...YOU WILL DELIVER SOMETHING HEALTHY....YOU WILL SEE IT THROUGH TO FULL TERM...YOU WILL NOT MISCARRY OR ABORT...and you will then nurture it as only the one who God gave it to can as it grows into EVERYTHING God has spoken to you it is to be.

That is how you know it belongs to you. Despite what you may have gone through while carrying it when you birth it you are able to step right into it and start nurturing it. It will be effortless. You'll be familiar with it because you have been carrying it. (Kind of like when man recognizes the one he's been carrying - but thats another blog) You won't have to learn how to do it you will be able to just flow in it because it has been in you and was destined for you before the foundation of the world. You will remember the pain no more when you begin to see it blossom and produce fruit. You will be in your moment and you will shine there.

Press in and get ready to push for His best is yet to come!