A Letter to My 16 Year Old Self!

Girl, at 16, you haven’t seen anything yet! You are in for quite the ride. ;)

Here I am in the year 2010. Twenty years later from where you are at, two decades, and while things have surely changed one thing that has not changed all that much is fashion. That off white sweater you have with the black polka dots on it, well, you may want to keep that because a week or so ago I went into H&M (one of the stores you will be shopping at) and saw that exact sweater. I would also go through Grandma Lucy’s digs and Mom’s digs because yes, even those eras will repeat themselves. Plus, you will find out that you were probably born in the wrong era. You will love the classic films like An Affair to Remember. You will love anything that represents Old Hollywood / Old New York. You will love the Rat Pack and love Audrey Hepburn. You will be all about women being ladies and men being gentlemen. I guess it has to do with the romantic in you.

If you can believe it, I am writing to you on a lap top computer. Basically a mobile computer, unlike the ones you have at school. Technology is what has probably changed the most, besides YOU. Forget the pager, we have mobile phones now that do EVERYTHING! On your iPhone you can keep your schedule, contacts, make phone calls, text message your friends, check emails, play games, listen to music and watch TV to name a few. Crazy I know! No more busy signals, no more waiting days for something to arrive in the mail and all those mix tapes you have will be obsolete. No more albums or 45’s. Now you will go on your computer, download your music and either copy it to a CD or download it straight to your phone. As much of a pain technology can be it does make life easier. And the best part, since you will STILL be in California, is that you will be able to keep in contact instantly with your family and friends.

Speaking of family and friends, look around you and take inventory. Some of the friends you are close with now you won’t be as close with 20 years from now, some you will be closer with and some that you don’t hang out with now will actually become good friends. Some will disappear for awhile and then, thanks to a great social network called FaceBook, will make a re-appearance. Note that this not a bad thing. It’s just that some people are in your life for a reason, some for a season and some for a lifetime. It is up to you to discern who fits where. As for family, you have one of the best, even if you may not see it that way now. Yes, the Italians can be a bit crazy but they do love and adore you and if you ever question God’s love look to Mom and Dad because they are true examples of it. Through your successes, mistakes, and times they didn’t understand they have always been there and loved you with an unconditional love. Mom will actually turn out to be your best friend and greatest confidant. And that pain in the bleep brother will still be a pain in the bleep but a really cool guy. Treasure the memories you have with them and once you move take every opportunity that presents itself to visit them because life is too short and as you will see, Nonna will be taken too soon.

You must be wondering where you are moving to. Well, at the age of 18 you are going to travel to California on a one month scholarship to the Tremaine Dance Studios. You will audition among 150 girls and be one of two chosen so audition knowing, “I got this!” While in CA with dance scholarships to Oklahoma City and New York University you will choose to stay there. Now, I wish I could say to you what people want me to say, especially, probably, Mom and Dad, which is that you should fly back from California and walk with your class at graduation and go on to college but I am not going to. Yes, education is important but the path you chose, all the ups and downs have made you into the woman you are today. And I think you are pretty amazing. I will suggest though you start saving now because CA is expensive. Educate yourself on investing and stay away from debt. If you can’t pay cash for it then you don’t need it. Even though you come out on top during what the world is calling a recession all the extra finances and knowledge will have you in yours quicker. And even though people think money is the greatest commodity it isn’t, time is, so don’t waste it sweetheart.

The dance scene in CA is quite different than NY. You will be approached to sell your soul, so to speak for work. You will be told you are too good at one audition, that you don’t fit the costume at another and so on. Don’t be discouraged. You will come to find that although you loved being on stage growing up your passion has changed. Oh, to save you from embarrassment, when you are on stage dancing with Robin S and MTV approaches you to dance on The Grind, say NO. You will never live it down! LoL! Actually, still do it because it will be a great experience shared with a great friend, a great friend that will also get you through your first earthquake. Oh yes. Upon your move you will witness riots, a major earthquake, but you will also meet some great people that will turn out to be more like family. You will be in the company of celebrities, you will work on the Prime Time Emmy Awards and you will even fly in private jets and drive fancy cars. I told you it would be quite the ride.

On a more serious note, and I want you to remember this throughout the next 20 years is this, hold on to your Faith. Your Faith is going to set you apart from the rest and keep you standing when others would have fallen or quit. It is your Faith that will keep you at peace when you should be losing your mind. People will talk about you behind your back and think you are holier than though, a Jesus freak. People will question your motives, stone you and put you on your cross because of it. People won’t agree, will ridicule and make fun of you/it. Your passion and your heart will be misunderstood. Don’t pay it/them any mind. You will see God do things for you that you KNOW are a result of your seeds sown and time spent in His Presence. His Presence will be your Safe Place. He is real Becky and He loves you. And He has some great and mighty things to do for you and through you. At this moment you are writing your first book. Your walk is not going to be easy because of what you are called to do and who you are called to reach but it will be worth it. You might want to start studying the ministry of Kathryn Kuhlman. God is going to show you a great deal from her ministry.

As for this thing called love. Get over your most recent break up because 20 years from now you are going to be so thankful you didn’t end up with him. At 16, you really have no clue who you are. You have a clue as to who people tell you, you are but no clue as to who you really are. Here you/I am 20 years later and I feel like just now you know who you really are. Which is probably why it is best you didn’t end up with any of your exes. Speaking of those, you will have 1 or 2 great ones but the majority of them won’t be worth mentioning. Love is going to take some time to find you so be patient and do not settle. Don’t make permanent decisions in temporary situations. (And that can be applied to more than love.) And in the new millennium when you meet that really cute artist, stay away. LoL! It will be the greatest heartbreak you witness to date. It will cause you to lose yourself and be put on an emotional rollercoaster. Even though there have been more toads/frogs than Princes don’t shut down or give up on love. Just be wise and discerning, stop giving of your heart so easy and make them work for your trust. Love without reservation. Give your whole heart. But if in some way you don't fulfill what he needs in a woman & if he feels he needs somebody else, then don't stick around. Be the kind to not stay & make a scene. Eventually, loving without reservation and giving of your whole heart will prove worth the risk! Your heart is one of your greatest gifts and if in the wrong hands it will do more damage than good. Your worth is far above rubies Becky. Read Proverbs 31 for this will be the standard you live by. It is who you are, Royalty, a Queen. You love to love and really are at your best when in a relationship. Take time to learn who you are, whose you are, and make sure you are whole before settling in with the one. You owe it to him. Be OK with who you are and embrace who you are, especially those curves! ;) You will realize that the most exciting, challenging, and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself! And If you can find someone to love the YOU, you love…well that’s just fabulous.

In closing, enjoy life. Just love, make mistakes, and have wonderful times, but never second guess who you are, where you have been, and most importantly, where it is you are going.

PS: Be on the look-out for a series called Sex and the City. Trust me/you, you will be obsessed. Not just because it is filmed in NY and the girls wear amazing fashions but also, I believe, because you can relate to one of the characters named Carrie. She is a writer and at times, her relationship with Mr. Big will hit pretty close to home. You may not understand this now but in the words of Carrie Bradshaw…STAY TUNED! XOXO